Constant work. I go to school, I come home and do work, I sleep for maybe 4 hours, and then I do it all over again. Then there are the ROTC training requirements which are kicking my ass...I hardly have enough energy for the physical aspect of it. Luckily, I'm still a badass. Otherwise, this would be impossible. ;P
So, the charcoal drawing assignments are continuing, and we're expected to adhere to our theme. My prof wanted me to expand on the successful dark piece in the last assignment, so I delve into the head of the character and drew 4 more pieces to show what she was so afraid of. Bleeding guardian angels, her bloodied and torn spirit, suffocating demons, and the endless struggle keeping her chained to her misery.
All the things I don't miss from my past. Not very happy with these, though. The angel was alright, and I suppose I like what I did with the upper right piece (literally tore into it with a knife). But I had very little time to complete these, so they were rushed and a lot more simple than what I'd have liked. At least they got the message across, and it seems like that's what prof is looking for.
The next project was a panorama. And I was officially sick and tired of all the darkness. I like myself some passionate angst every now and then. But too much is never a good thing. So, going along with my more angelic theme, I drew out my Timeless Planet from Uni's story.
I hope to expand on that Angel's Palace there in my 3D modeling course later this year.
Speaking of which. I'm also doing many 3D projects which I'd rather not document at this time. But here's a photo of an example of my work in Maya!
This shit is ridiculous. So many numbers and technical parameters required for making art, it's just driving me crazy. I can't believe Pixar makes whole movies like this. 3D Animation next semester is going to kill me.
I'm also doing art projects in that art course I'm taking which is supposed to teach me how to teach art to grade schoolers. >_>;; Buuut I'll probably document those later as well when I have them all done. It's literally little kid craft projects in college. Unfortunately, I have to do actual work in there, too, like research and writing. : / Bleh.
So, anyway, I had an interesting conversation with my Advanced Drawing professor today. Yesterday, I spoke with my major advisor and she said she wanted me to change my direction with my Senior Seminar project (the pachyderm portfolio website thing I linked earlier this month). A couple semesters ago, I created a photomanipulation that really represented a part of me that was far from anime, and she seemed to like that a lot. And I mean....a LOT.
She keeps bringing it up even today. So, she sent an email to my drawing professor.
To avoid confusion, my major advisor is also my main electronic art teacher since that is my focus within my major. We'll call her Ms. R.
My advanced drawing instructor is also my professor for Senior Seminar. I'll refer to her as Ms. S.
Ms. R emailed Ms. S and let her know the two of us talked and discussed a new approach to my senior project.
I will be doing photomanipulation now instead of digital illustration. I can incorporate illustration a bit, but the end product will be made largely by digitally manipulating photos to create a new scene. And these scenes will tell a story.
I will keep the content to myself for now...but it's going to be deep.
After we talked about the project, I asked Ms. S about anime and why all my art professors were trying to get me away from it. I understand that as you're learning to draw, you should branch out and get experienced with all kinds of styles. But I thought as a senior it would be alright to expand myself art-wise in my realm of comfort. I asked her why it was okay for everyone else to be drawing what they liked...but somehow anime was something to avoid.
Long story short, she told me anime was too specific. It was a solid focus and she had nothing to teach me in that realm. If I want to explore it more later, that's fine, but she's still focused on broadening my horizons and making me discover what more I'm capable of especially where meaning and technique is involved. She wants me to stay away from "illustration" as much as possible. I could have argued with that, too, stating that's completely possible to accomplish with an anime style, but decided not to. It's not that big of a deal anyway.
But I'm glad she's letting me do Uni for my first giant (3' x 5'11") drawing!
I wanted to do this so much. But I was really worried. I almost put her in angelic attire and not senshi because I was afraid of being judged by the content. But then I was like....FUCKIT. Judge me, bitches. :| And went for it. This is an unfinished photo of it. I just wanted to get a picture before I accidentally ruin it or something. p:
It still goes along with my theme as she will be coming out of the darkness and offering a saving hand. Just as she was always meant to...
And the paper's kind of curled up at the bottom, but her other foot is visible on the page. I drew her to scale. :] She is, in fact, life size. 5'8" and sexy as hell.
I'll be sure to get a photo with me and her when it's finished.
Anyway, my conversation with Ms. S got deeper.
She began pointing out other students to me. One girl relied too much on illustration, but Ms. S wasn't going to say anything to her yet because the student simply wasn't ready to hear it. She told me that I'm stronger, more developed, and capable of taking the criticism to let myself grow.
I kinda froze.
Then, she mentioned a student with similar taste in fantastical art subjects as me, and said he simply wasn't as skilled as me, and that was okay. But since I was on a higher skill level, she felt I was ready to take on the challenges she presented me with.
And I'm over here like...
We are definitely not in elementary school anymore. >_>;; But still I couldn't believe what I was hearing. On twitter, I mentioned she was playing favorites, and that I was one of them. I found that out for sure when she gave me a pricy art supply for free and had me hide it from the other students. But this conversation made my stomach knot up because I realized just how much she expected of me...and it's pretty intense. I'm actually a little scared...but thrilled at the same time.
No art professor in my 4+ years of higher education has ever put me on such a superior level. I've been told my work is good, but to praise my SKILL like that means something else entirely to me.
And I like that word, "skill." I like it much better than "talent." It implies the hard work I've gone through to get where I am instead of attributing my success to purely natural gifts.
For the longest time, I've been comparing myself to popular artists on DeviantART and could hardly call myself talented. Even comparing myself to other students. Sure, I can impress non-artistic people. But my stuff just doesn't seem so special when pitted against other accomplished artists. So...what prof said today was...mind blowing for me.
And I really need to get back to work, so I'll end this here.
'Til next time~ :]